As you might *just* have noticed, my guy and I are going to get married. We’ve got the church booked and found a venue and the ball is really rolling for next spring. It is amazing and terrifying all at the same time. But since getting engaged, I’ve noticed this: the fuss around wedding days is weird. From the moment we showed people the ring, the questions started: When’s the date? What are your wedding colours? Who are your bridesmaids? How many guests are you having? Have you booked (insert random thing you hadn’t realised was necessary for a wedding here)? There is just SO much focus on this one day and I find myself almost overwhelmed by all the components that are deemed essential. Looking up a wedding planning timeline on the internet might have been the worst thing I have ever done… In fact, the internet and wedding stuff full stop is overwhelming. Thousands of blogs and Pinterest boards, so many DIY ideas and theme suggestions, countless catering options and first dance songs. Don’t even get me started on wedding favours… The irony of me merely adding my two-pennies-worth to this online wedding chaos is not lost on me.
I have a Pinterest board filled with wedding ideas and a wedding journal for keeping it all on track. I like to plan and, working as a set designer, it should be no surprise that I’ve got a pretty strong image in my mind of how I would like things to look. I am as easily seduced by photos of fairy lit tables under the stars and happy couples being showered with confetti or sent off with sparklers as anyone else. But I was never the girl who dreamed of her wedding day or planned where and when and how for years. I never really pictured what my own wedding day might look like and I now find the way in which wedding days are built up, completely insane. I have had to actively keep my jaw from dropping when the prices for venues or dresses or catering are given to me because to me it just. isn’t. worth. it. I don’t think I should need to give everyone elaborate gifts or display things for my guests with twee poems. I can’t cope with the thought of spending hundreds on a dress I’ll wear once – I don’t spend that on things I wear every single day! And I certainly don’t feel the need to invite (and feed) every person I’ve met and liked over the last decade. Did you know the average UK wedding costs between £18,000 – £24,000? Holy frick.The thing is that Harry and I are still fairly young. We work relatively low paid jobs. We don’t own our own home. The thought of spending even £10,000 on one day of our lives seems completely illogical. So we aren’t.
We’re getting married at the church I was baptised in. We’re having the reception in a small hall nearby. Only our nearest and dearest will be coming. I’ve found a second hand dress for £25 that I am altering. The decorations will be made slowly by me over the next year. We are hoping to have our record player and speakers rather than a band. We will have all hands on deck to help us set up the day before (and probably clear up the day after!) We’ve taken our own engagement photos and are making our own invitations. And we’re simply ignoring many of the things deemed essential to a wedding (planner, master of ceremonies, facials, hair stylists, videographers, florists… the list goes on) We’re trained to believe that having the most omgincrediblebeautifulbestdayever can only be achieved by having all of the things and spending all of the monies but I just can’t buy into that now my turn has come around. Harry and I know that the day will be wonderful because of what it is. We are starting our lives together, in a beautiful place surrounded by people we love and that won’t change whether we spend £1k or £50k. And we also know that it is just the start of something much, much bigger. We’re getting married, not just having a wedding day.
I’m kind of writing this to remind myself in the future, when I go nuts and consider spending money on printing wedding menus, 5 tier wedding cakes covered in sugar paste roses or designer wedding shoes, because I know I’ll get sucked in at some point. It’s inevitable! And in truth I don’t have the money to spend in the first place. But I’m also intrigued- how do you feel about weddings and marriages? Do you think its a time to go all out or would you try to stick to the basics? Do you dream of a perfect day and your perfect dress? If you’re already married would you have done things differently, spent more or less? I’d love to know whether any of my thoughts and rambles make sense to anyone else but me!